When I see those shadows move,
In the spotlight, I can already tell,
It’s going to be a hellish good time,
The light of day won’t reach anytime soon,
And I am swooned by the shadow,
Dancing behind the light,
And I can feel the heat,
I can feel the love,
Spread across the dance floor,
Where no one is but me and you,
The shadow calls me over,
And I can’t resist any longer
I need someone to take a chance with me,
And burn her initials inside of me,
Just want to dance with somebody,
With the one that loves me
And as the shadow’s movements fade away,
Eyes stick out through the light staring at me
Somebody is watching me
Piercing my heart
And that somebody pulled me in
Like a black hole sucking everything
I am drawn to her
As the light gets dim
The shadows fade
And under the faint light, I connect with you
When our bodies collide
When our minds go wild
In this town, nothing changes,
From the baker to the market,
Everything stays the same,
Just the people,
The people go one by one,
One by one they disappear,
With no memory of them,
They leave the town,
Never to be seen around,
On the ground,
I watch the stars,
Wishing I was one of them,
Never to return.
Tell me something death,
Are you happy with your job,
Aren’t you tired of the complaints?
I’ve seen you take away from me everything,
One by one,
But not only you,
Tell me, something gods,
Aren’t you tired of stopping me from filling my void?
Am I that big of a threat to you?
I am falling,
Into the depths of soul-crushing colors,
And I can’t leave or hold on to anything,
In the shallow, the shallow mud
I raise my head, with a smile that seems dead,
Still I walk, still, I reach out my head,
STILL I CAN WALK, STILL, I CAN DEFEND
To the gods that can’t hold themselves back from my realm,
Beware, beware of the stare that is following you,
The life that is a threat to you
Beware of the godless god, the shallow husk of a being
That still lets the colors roam free,
And makes everything free
In this modern world,
I can feel the blood boiling inside of me,
My ancestry is behind me
I died once, and will die once more,
And when I die heaven and earth will hear a roar,
While the underworld will personally see,
What fear is for me
You cursed my soul,
You made my way a sin,
And now I will come for you,
I will burn you from within,
Into the deep end, I am not drowning,
I am diving in where people couldn’t even see,
Godless and sober, I come for you.
Oh wind that brings the joy of fresh air,
Please blow my tears and take them far away,
On this journey, be my guide, don’t let me die inside,
Oh how bad it is to walk in circles,
To painfully relieve your past day in and day out,
What joy must the heavens have on our behalf,
Once it’s broken, once it stopped,
They will be the ones that are mocked,
In their blissful blue sky, there we will make them cry,
Will it ever end, oh my dearest friend will my pain end?
One by one my thoughts die, one by one they vanish in my cry,
And the circle remains untouched, unscratched and they laugh at me from the sky,
But one day, one fateful day,
When the city is paved in the colors of our youth,
The rain can’t wash away the feelings that we want to feel,
When heaven is here when I can set foot on it,
Then I will join him, the sinner no one prays for,
Oh my, did we build our heaven on the back of hell?
It doesn’t matter anyway,
The Devil and I will dance away,
In the shadow of a great new day.
Are you done?
I don’t have much time,
Need, greed, joy,
Well isn’t it nice you want me as your toy,
But I ain’t that kind of boy,
So hey, why don’t we talk another day?
It’s not like sunshine or rain’s gonna change my way,
Not like you care anyway.
What is it to you,
The wasted time I spent on you?
A wind of change,
The mood of rage?
Well excuse me,
I don’t care what you see,
So why don’t you just let it be?
This is just the way it is,
Changing things is not my way,
I change myself for a brighter day,
Won’t change you, won’t try to,
Because you don’t want me,
I will never ever want you.
Walk alone, like the lone wolf,
You don’t take what the worlds want to give,
What’s your reason to fight?
What are you an afraid mighty lone wolf?
Do you not trust others or are you afraid of them?
Oh mighty wolf that journeys alone, won’t you tell me where is your home?
When will your journey end?
Why did you run away and where are you going?
I asked the lone wolf, and his answer howled to me
I am the answer to your question,
Afraid of myself I am, as I cannot yet understand what I need to do,
Afraid of the world I am, it might give me to much,
Afraid of them, I cannot trust myself nor them,
My journey is a long one, one that I need to walk alone,
And when I reach the end of it, then I will find my home,
All the storms that will rain down on me will only make me stronger,
The hardships of my life will make my mind grow bolder,
And one day I will be able to say,
I am glad I did it my way.
I can’t keep up with the world
Since it tries to act as a double edge sword
The more I kill the enemy
The more it pierces through me
In the end, I don’t have anything to defend
In the end, should I pretend
Not to be hurt
And just smile
When in fact I am about to die
The string of faith is not so strong
They break as you walk along
Rip apart when you start creating art
And when you close yourself inside
Do you think you will die with pride?
The sword keeps pushing inside of you no matter what you do
No matter what you think
No matter what you feel
In the end, you’ll see what’s fake and what’s real
Emotions and facts combined in life’s artifacts
When you see one run
Because harm will be done with one look
That’s all that it took
That’s all what it ever takes when you gaze
And that’s not the end of the story
Because you are driving a freaking lorry
To an unknown destination
Through the forest of procrastination
The mountains of your desperation
And the roads of the great depression
Yet you are there sitting on your comfy chair
Goin’ 80 miles per hour
Screaming about life being sour
The favorite thing about it is not knowing where you are going
Because if you knew, what would you change, what would you be ever able to do?
I don’t know me, I don’t know you
What I really want to do is create myself
Mold the me into whatever I want to be
Stay true to the values I hold so dearly
Life is not all about defense or attack
Even if the double end sword will get me one day
I will be able to say my last words
They will echo to the chamber of life and death, in between
Do you know what I mean?
It will reach the end of the world, the end of the universe
Because it will be like a fire from a verse
It will hit deep and wake the gods up from their sleep
Then, you ask me, what will happen?
What will become of you?
What will become of me?
I don’t know a thing about you, but I will go out smiling, what will you do?
The dawn of the morning,
Sunrise of the world,
It’s the most lonely view from my little room,
Beautiful, fascinating, but it burns my eyes,
Not the sun, not the earth,
But it is the sky that makes me rub my eye,
It burns, it’s a shade of blue hits my soul and takes me back to you,
The loneliest shade of blue.
There are days that silence rages so fiercely,
I fear the panes will crack and cave.
O how I long for your witty exchanges once more.
We spend hours, lingered in poetry,
conversations enlightened with articulation,
and then your mind snaps;
I learn to entertain myself between silences,
to sift through diaries left haphazardly on tabletops.
The words you’ve written scream for release;
your tortured mind begs for forgiveness.
I want to wrap you in my arms
and chase away whatever beast has your tongue.
The silence seeps under doorways;
a smoky haze soaks the room.
There are days when you wander the halls
as if there is something you want to say.
I wait, in anticipation, for one mere syllable,
just one sound of recognition from your lips,
to explore the vast knowledge imprisoned in your mind.
Such madness controls you.
Given the chance,
I would say all the things you cannot,
if only I knew the words.
Copyright © 2013 Lori Carlson.
Since you’re gone, I just feel I am not in the zone,
I tried to make it last, I drunk so much when you passed,
You died young, you left all the family crying,
Made me feel like dying, I wanted to visit you,
Know that I am still good, you know how I do,
Rest brother, rest well because when I get there, I’ll turn heaven to hell,
I can’t let them be, I mean they took you away from me,
Gods plan, damn son, I don’t think that’s the right way,
I never send anyone my plan, so there can’t be one,
Aight, until I get free I’ll do what you told me,
You know I am still writing, I am still grinding,
I still work out, I still pour my heart on the court, all out boy,
And you know how much it hurts, it hurts like hell, but whatever,
I never did so well, I never was as close to heaven as I was to hell,
So if you are up there, watch your boy, cuz whatever I do, it’s still me and you,
Still not used to the life without you, me and you no truer two,
Rest fool, don’t worry, you know I am strong, you know I will come up to you,
One day, one day again, me and you, trust the two, the freaking truest two.