• Poetry

    Poem: My Utopian Lie



    Oh wind that brings the joy of fresh air,
    Please blow my tears and take them far away,
    On this journey, be my guide, don’t let me die inside,

    Oh how bad it is to walk in circles,
    To painfully relieve your past day in and day out,
    What joy must the heavens have on our behalf,

    Once it’s broken, once it stopped,
    They will be the ones that are mocked,
    In their blissful blue sky, there we will make them cry,

    Will it ever end, oh my dearest friend will my pain end?
    One by one my thoughts die, one by one they vanish in my cry,
    And the circle remains untouched, unscratched and they laugh at me from the sky,

    But one day, one fateful day,
    When the city is paved in the colors of our youth,
    The rain can’t wash away the feelings that we want to feel,

    When heaven is here when I can set foot on it,
    Then I will join him, the sinner no one prays for,
    Oh my, did we build our heaven on the back of hell?

    It doesn’t matter anyway,
    The Devil and I will dance away,
    In the shadow of a great new day.

  • Poetry

    Poem: Change of the day


    Are you done?
    I don’t have much time,
    Need, greed, joy,
    Well isn’t it nice you want me as your toy,
    But I ain’t that kind of boy,
    So hey, why don’t we talk another day?
    It’s not like sunshine or rain’s gonna change my way,
    Not like you care anyway.

    What is it to you,
    The wasted time I spent on you?
    A wind of change,
    The mood of rage?
    Well excuse me,
    I don’t care what you see,
    So why don’t you just let it be?

    This is just the way it is,
    Changing things is not my way,
    I change myself for a brighter day,
    Won’t change you, won’t try to,
    Because you don’t want me,
    I will never ever want you.

  • Poetry

    Poem: Lone Wolf


    Walk alone, like the lone wolf,
    You don’t take what the worlds want to give,
    What’s your reason to fight?
    What are you an afraid mighty lone wolf?
    Do you not trust others or are you afraid of them?

    Oh mighty wolf that journeys alone, won’t you tell me where is your home?
    When will your journey end?
    Why did you run away and where are you going?
    I asked the lone wolf, and his answer howled to me

    I am the answer to your question,
    Afraid of myself I am, as I cannot yet understand what I need to do,
    Afraid of the world I am, it might give me to much,
    Afraid of them, I cannot trust myself nor them,

    My journey is a long one, one that I need to walk alone,
    And when I reach the end of it, then I will find my home,
    All the storms that will rain down on me will only make me stronger,
    The hardships of my life will make my mind grow bolder,
    And one day I will be able to say,
    I am glad I did it my way.

  • Poetry

    Poem: Life in my Hand



    I can’t keep up with the world
    Since it tries to act as a double edge sword
    The more I kill the enemy
    The more it pierces through me
    In the end, I don’t have anything to defend
    In the end, should I pretend
    Not to be hurt
    And just smile
    When in fact I am about to die
    The string of faith is not so strong
    They break as you walk along
    Rip apart when you start creating art
    And when you close yourself inside
    Do you think you will die with pride?
    The sword keeps pushing inside of you no matter what you do
    No matter what you think
    No matter what you feel
    In the end, you’ll see what’s fake and what’s real
    Emotions and facts combined in life’s artifacts
    When you see one run
    Because harm will be done with one look
    That’s all that it took
    That’s all what it ever takes when you gaze
    And that’s not the end of the story
    Because you are driving a freaking lorry
    To an unknown destination
    Through the forest of procrastination
    The mountains of your desperation
    And the roads of the great depression
    Yet you are there sitting on your comfy chair
    Goin’ 80 miles per hour
    Screaming about life being sour
    The favorite thing about it is not knowing where you are going
    Because if you knew, what would you change, what would you be ever able to do?
    I don’t know me, I don’t know you
    What I really want to do is create myself
    Mold the me into whatever I want to be
    Stay true to the values I hold so dearly
    And preserver
    Life is not all about defense or attack
    Even if the double end sword will get me one day
    I will be able to say my last words
    They will echo to the chamber of life and death, in between
    Do you know what I mean?
    It will reach the end of the world, the end of the universe
    Because it will be like a fire from a verse
    It will hit deep and wake the gods up from their sleep
    Then, you ask me, what will happen?
    What will become of you?
    What will become of me?
    I don’t know a thing about you, but I will go out smiling, what will you do?

  • Poetry

    Poem: Shade of Blue

    The dawn of the morning,
    Sunrise of the world,
    It’s the most lonely view from my little room,
    Beautiful, fascinating, but it burns my eyes,

    Not the sun, not the earth,
    But it is the sky that makes me rub my eye,
    It burns, it’s a shade of blue hits my soul and takes me back to you,
    The loneliest shade of blue.

  • Poetry

    Poem: Between Silences




    There are days that silence rages so fiercely,
    I fear the panes will crack and cave.
    O how I long for your witty exchanges once more.
    We spend hours, lingered in poetry,
    conversations enlightened with articulation,
    and then your mind snaps;


    I learn to entertain myself between silences,
    to sift through diaries left haphazardly on tabletops.
    The words you’ve written scream for release;
    your tortured mind begs for forgiveness.
    I want to wrap you in my arms
    and chase away whatever beast has your tongue.

    The silence seeps under doorways;
    a smoky haze soaks the room.

    There are days when you wander the halls
    as if there is something you want to say.
    I wait, in anticipation, for one mere syllable,
    just one sound of recognition from your lips,
    to explore the vast knowledge imprisoned in your mind.
    Such madness controls you.

    Given the chance,
    I would say all the things you cannot,
    if only I knew the words.




    Copyright © 2013 Lori Carlson.

  • Poetry

    Poem: Don’t die young




    Since you’re gone, I just feel I am not in the zone,
    I tried to make it last, I drunk so much when you passed,
    You died young, you left all the family crying,
    Made me feel like dying, I wanted to visit you,
    Know that I am still good, you know how I do,
    Rest brother, rest well because when I get there, I’ll turn heaven to hell,
    I can’t let them be, I mean they took you away from me,
    Gods plan, damn son, I don’t think that’s the right way,
    I never send anyone my plan, so there can’t be one,
    Aight, until I get free I’ll do what you told me,
    You know I am still writing, I am still grinding,
    I still work out, I still pour my heart on the court, all out boy,
    And you know how much it hurts, it hurts like hell, but whatever,
    I never did so well, I never was as close to heaven as I was to hell,
    So if you are up there, watch your boy, cuz whatever I do, it’s still me and you,
    Still not used to the life without you, me and you no truer two,
    Rest fool, don’t worry, you know I am strong, you know I will come  up to you,
    One day, one day again,  me and you, trust the two, the freaking truest two.

  • Poetry

    Poem: Ready to Fire



    Ready to fire,
    kneel before the might
    ready to fire
    your end is tonight

    The will to rise above you
    final will’s to destroy you
    so get ready to fire
    get ready to burn

    Get ready to fight
    the final battle is going tonight
    when I stood in front of you
    fell the rage I am burning
    finally, you’ll see the truth
    the ash you’re turning

    Ready to fire
    feel my might
    ready to fire
    die with my pride

    A gunshot in your fucking head
    scream and despair
    the smell of your fear
    drives me madder

    Ready to fire,
    start the war
    annihilation from the face of the earth
    slay the enemy, kill ’em all
    the smell of dust and insanity,
    blood, sweat, and tears
    scream of pain, of terror
    scorn your suffering
    I am leaving
    leaving like liberator

    Ready to fire, start the war
    annihilation from the face of the earth
    slay the enemy, kill ’em all
    the fusion of dust and…

  • Poetry

    Poem: Spellbound



    I can run from my demons
    but they won’t leave me
    in a which hour they keep wake me up
    tearing my soul apart

    In cold sweat, I cannot breathe
    why do they won’t leave me
    I can’t take it anymore

    Just when I am on the edge when I’m about to broke
    they just stop and laugh to me
    Is this some joke?

    And they come back every night
    torturing me ’till I have nothing left for the fight

    Broken down with tears and shakes
    they keep adding more pain
    leading me to new mistakes
    turning my life in hell.

  • Poetry

    Poem: My Guardian Angel



    All these years it’ s driving me crazy
    My heart is broken, living in pain
    My guardian angel is so lazy,
    Drunk, or kicked out in the rain

    When he’s sober and with the hangover
    He does something for me
    Like a foreign movie without a subtitle
    I don’t understand what he’s saying

    I pray to him to watch over me
    I pray for help and good luck
    But he’s at the bar, you see
    He’ s drunk again and he doesn’t give a fuck